I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle - Dirk Campbell - UK - (1990)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097550/

Plot by Imdb: "When a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact vengeance on the gang, and anyone else who gets in its way" 

If all B-movies were like this English piece of madness, b-movies would have a better reputation. With an improbable title, this improbable story of a blood sucking motorcycle is funny all along and doesn't take itself too seriously. Some sequences are so insane (the exorcism of the bike, the attack in the hospital) or grotesque (the fight in the medieval pub is one great moment in comedy history) that all the amateurish aspects of the production disappear. The ultimate goal of a b-movie is to give a good time to its viewers. "I bought a vampire motorcycle" does exactly that and manage to succeed where so many "xeroxed b-movies" fails. Cheers for the crazy Brits !

Trailer:

Preaching to the Perverted - Stuart Urban - UK - (1997)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119935/

Plot by Imdb: "Minister on a moral crusade employs young computer whizzkid Peter to infiltrate the London S&M scene..."

Funny movie about the hypocrisy of the mainstream toward the fetishist world. Nothing is realistic about it and it might get real S&M enthusiasts pissed off but hey, it's entertainment. And to reach it's goal, it had to be light of the flogging aspect. Too bad for the perverts, like us. As the main character goes deeper and deeper into the world of mythical Mistrees Tanya Cheex, the weirdness of it tend to disappear and leaves us with a funny feeling. To portrait to fetish and S&M english scene as just "nice people" role-playing and wearing strange outfit, the director loose completely the most interessant aspect of it, the psychological  (watch "Barbet Schroeder's "Maitresse"  for that). In the main role, Guienever Turner is cute as hell.

Harmless but visually titillating, "Preaching to perverted" offers a nice 90 minutes entertainment with lots and lots of latex and leather. Kinky !

Trailer:

Cold and Dark - Andrew Goth - UK - (2005)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387126/

Plot by Imdb: "When Detective Mortimer Shade is somehow killed in a freezer, a parasite called a grail possesses his body, revives him, but he needs blood to stay alive. His partner John Dark accepts the new situation and together they become vigilantes, judging and killing the bad guys, with Shade sucking their blood with his claw. However, Dark notes that Shade is losing the rest of his humanity and becoming a monster, being aware and afraid of the danger Shade represents to mankind and trying to stop him."

Now, before anyone tells me that this movie's got bad reviews on Imdb or elsewhere and that it got some major flaws, I wish to say that yes, this movie is far from being perfect and yes, some of it doesn't work but hey, can you give me a break and let me like a mediocre movie ? Even as a mediocre movie, it has a direct link to eveything I like in genre cinema: a Film Noir atmosphere, a creepy monster living inside somebody, some vigilante actions, and some ridiculous parts (the ending is specially lousy). Of course, the production value is not high and some of the plot doesn't make much sense but it's quite all right. A nice little b-movie. What seems to enrage people is that this movie tries very hard to be more than just the b-movie it is, it tries to be like a "dark tale of right and wrong with a Gothic urban horror background". And this "snobbish" attitude doesn't do the movie any good. But it's well worth watching as the entertainment it always should have been. And nothing more. Have a beer, relax, enjoy !

PS: The director is actually working on a movie called "Gallowwalker", starring Wesley Snipes. It's about  a professional hitman that needs to kill bad guys multiple times, because of a zombie curse (!?!?!). This one looks like a crappy mix between an Italian Spaghetti western and a zombie flick .Watch the Trailer below.

 

 

Trailer:

"Gallowwalker" trailer:

Tony - Gerard Johnson - UK - (2009)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1120945/

Plot by Imdb: "A thriller centered on a serial killer in a rundown London suburb."

Nice little movie. Cheaply made, but with passion. The fact that Tony is a "Action B-movie" fanatics, made me liked him a lot. I wish I could have a neighbor like him, that would kill all the annoying bastards that surrounds us. No seriously, it's a a good movie, but it lacks a point. Specially the ending, that is too similar to "Henry, portrait of a serial killer". Good references, uncharismatic main character and a story a bit dull but still enjoyable. A nice first try. Let's see more !

Trailer: